Monday, June 4, 2012

From Now on, if Anyone Asks Why I'm Single (It's Complicated)....

...and because so many people tend to not believe my answer anyway, I am changing the way I answer. (Admit it, anyone who asks people that, you know full well what you're really asking is "why can't you get any action?"/"so what is it, you just suck at getting girls?"/"what could the problem possibly be other than you simply aren't attractive to most men/simply have no confidence around women/are a prude/are a creep?"; you just want to hear them say it themselves. So that you can feel superior, or be patronizing by pitying them or offering "help", or fuck knows what else.... damn, humans are sick sometimes! Please, you think the hindrance is always all about dating/sex? lol!)*

So instead...I will just refer them to this song. And instead I will just say "so that I don't have to start giving this song like a speech..." --no --  "...a recorded speech playing on a broken record, after every breakup."
I don't like apologies. I am very unforgiving, and I can't apologize to someone and feel genuinely sorry, unless it was an honest mistake. Basically because apologizing to me is meant for when you genuinely went into something with no knowledge in advance of whatever it is for which you're apologizing...something you can't really be held accountable for (i.e., an honest mistake.) I can't say that I don't know how cold, bitter, cynical, etc. I can be. And usually that happens more and more the less distant I become with people. Call it a fear of commitment, if you want. In many ways that's what it is... becoming a cold-hearted asshole to protect myself. I've been emotionally and mentally violated far too many times to trust anyone to the full extent most people do, in ANY close social relationship. It's not even playing with fire, it's, why start out that's not even there?
(I will have to elaborate on that last bit at some point when I'm less lazy, more inspired, and have more time to write elaborate narratives.)

See also (not sure what "ambitious" is referencing, really, but the description itself is much more fitting for me than the "nice guy" or "jerk"/"asshole" ones ever have been!): "The Three Types of Men - The Ambitious Man"
(Yes, it is a bit oversimplified with the whole "there are three types of men and they all just want sex in the end"...but I couldn't find any hardcore science or other sorts of measurements on this one, sadly. ;) )

*Yes, I know, the link I posted keeps going on about "friends with benefits", but with friendships, as with any non-platonic relationship, I don't go out of my way to look for them. What I do go out of my way to do is avoid certain female friendships. Ones that I wouldn't actively pursuit in the absence of sexual attraction (i.e., like everyone else.) Because that obviously means I'd only be after sex. Which means they aren't a "friend with benefits" at all, as whatever thereafter unfolds, was built upon the sexal attraction...or perhaps tension..whatever the case may be. That's totally ass-backwards! If you want sex with random hot strangers then it's fine. I know, why don't I do this then?
That's a long story, again, for that longer post I'm putting off, but it basically goes back to my cynicicsm and that it's not worth the effort of active pursuit right now (as with dating in general.)
---PS, anyone (male or female) who can explain to me why it seems that most people, and especially men, don't seem to get this concept of things being backwards when you pursuit sex as a segue to friendship or to getting a girl/boyfriend; or, why it seems most people who actively pursue a relationship -- male or female -- seem to do so in a similarly backwards way? I mean why even date someone you've never even met before, if your goal is something more complex than hooking up with strangers for one night/a few times or paying for a hooker??... please do because I don't get it!


I'm sure I'll be doing some sort of "part 2" on this topic, as I've only skimmed the surface on several ideas, such as the ones in the annotated asterisk-afterthought-thingy above (forget what those are called.) ;)

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